Another reason to avoid cigs while preggo

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Wanna guess which picture is from a fetus who’s mom smoked?

The top one of course.

There was a new study using 4d images of mother’s who smoked. The results: “fetuses whose mothers were smokers showed a significantly higher rate of mouth movements than the normal declining rate of movements expected in a fetus during pregnancy.The researchers suggested that the reason for this might be that the fetal central nervous system, which controls movements in general and facial movements in particular did not develop at the same rate and in the same manner as in fetuses of mothers who did not smoke during pregnancy.”

Just another reason to avoid or quit smoking while preggo!

Teething: my new mortal enemy

My little Coraline, who is normally a very easy baby (I’m lucky I know) has turned into a tiny little monster with the onset of teething (two in…so many more to go….) which means she is an tiny angry ticking timb bomb ready to go off.

And momma, well she is at her wit’s end. We have tried teethers, tried gum massage, tried pain relevors (sparingly), cold fruit and none of it has worked.

So I’ll bring it you guys, what do you do (that has worked) to help with an angry teething baby.

Dear Mommy Mags, I’m breaking up with you….

I sat in my child’s doctor’s office at 8 am last weeks for a wellness and vaccine appointment. Sat, half awake,  my hair a bad Japanese animation from sleeping on it wet. I sat a tired, caffeine junkie, bloburale shell of the pre-baby woman I once was, my child blissfully sleeping; I picked out one of your friend magazines. Pregnancy and Newborn or Fit Pregnancy or one of the other trades, opened up to the numberous pages or actresses/e/heiresses and their pregnancies, nothing like mind. Their needs nothing like mind. Their bodies nothing like mind. Their wants and nurseries something that’s worth a year of my salaries…..

And screamed.

Ok. I didn’t scream. I didn’t want the other mothers to think I was crazy.

But I decided something.

Pregnancy magazines, I’m breaking up with you.

Why?

motherhoodBecause I’m tired of your glossy-ad version of pregnancy and motherhood, tired of reading about people who’s lives no way related to mine. People who (and there is nothing wrong with this mind you) have trainers, nannies, nutritionists and a support system that while awesome, most people don’t have the money for.

What I long for are articles about how to find the best used gear and clothes. What you really need for a baby, how to balance motherhood and work or staying sane while your with baby. Anything that actually connects with the 95 percent of us who aren’t wealthy and famous.

It’s amazing what their lives are, a glimpse perhaps behind the curtain of Oz, but how about you spend a little less time gawking, and a bit more time supplying us mommies with practical advice and stories we can relate to.

No I’m not just a mommy

Being a mom has definately been some of the coolest, most stressful times in my life. But what really had gotten me as of late, is how many of my friends/family/acquiantaes think that now that I’m a mommy I have ceased being me.

Case in point.

IMG_0024I mentioned to one of my friends that I am working on a children’s book.

“Oh you still do that…”

Me (confused): Do what?

“….Write…”

Me: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well…you’re a mom now.”

This isn’t the first time I have gotten blow back. When Coraline was two months old, I went to sell crafts with a friend at a comic convention (something I should add that I had planned with her a few months before I got pregnant.)

But…how can you leave your baby?!?! Many of my friends and some family (ok the soon to be MIL) asked.

(Umm well I gave her to my daddy and got in the car and left…though I did pyscho check up for the first day.)

But really my question is how can I not?

I was a fully functioning 28 year old with dreams and hobbies before I had my daughter, and yes one of those goals did include starting a family; however many do not. And I find it somehow absurd (and somewhat sexist) that people assume that when you become a mommy, magically those other parts of you fade away.

And while having a baby changes your life, and reshuffles some priorities, it doesn’t have to erase them all. The way I figure, I’m the best mommy when I’m happy and fulfilled, and if that means dropping Coraline off at her grandparents or trading day trips out with the baby daddy, or even the occasionally trip away, well, then be it.

 

Making the most of a bad situation

My best friend, who recently announced that she was preggo (yay!), also recently did a maternity shoot. And while, I was, of course, very excited for her, there was a ping of regret from my pregnancy.

My pregnancy was not smiles. There were no quite pictures of me starring at my bump. If fact the only picture there was taken of me (by someone else) where my bump is visable is me tear stained, starring off blankly in a black dress.

You see just about the moment I foundd out I was going to bring a life in this world, I also found out that a life was fading, my father’s.

I  won’t get into the nastiness of PFF an autoimune disorder that mimics COPD, but pretty much you get to watch your loved one slowly sufficate, knowing there is nothing you can do about it.But the disease, which crept up on my father had taken hold by the time last Christmas came around and I announce my pregnancy.

After a few months, it was clear that my father wouldn’t make it to my child’s birth, so I set a small goal, hoping he’d make it to the twenty week sono to learn the sex. At least he would know if he had a granddaughter or grandson.

Irronically, he died at 1 in the morning the day of my sono.

Instead of the joy of finding out if I were to have a girl or boy, I spent the bulk of the day crying and sleeping, though for some insane reason I still kept the appointment, simply because it didn’t cross my mind to cancel it.

The doctor who told us my father would die, said American’s know how to live but don’t know how to die, maybe that’s right, though honsetly I’d still like to punch him for saving such a bloody insensitve thing to an obivously upset and preggo woman.

Either way, I took his death hard. And spent the majority of the rest of my pregnancy trying not to cry and dragging myself to work in between tears.

I slumpt through a baby shower, in between helping my mother deal with the estate issues, still in my mourning dress and tried to breath through my fiance’s first father’s day which also marked the first without my father. And counted the days until I’d give birth knowing that I’d wish my father was there.

I still miss my father. It’s a raw pain, a new type of pain I am not use to, one that I don’t think will ever really end. And one that is punctuated sometimes, when I think of what he is missing out on.

Of course though, in the end of course, I ended up with a beautiful child and that’s more than a lot of people. .And my father at least say a few sono of little wiggle worm, which is more solace than other’s get.

But everytime I see my friends’ smiling pregnancy photos, I wonder if they know how lucky there are to be able to savor such an experience.

 

 

Why aren’t there any good newborn magazines?

So this is a bit of a rant/request for help. Why aren’t there are any good newborn magazines? The only one that I know of it Pregnancy and Newborn, which for those who have ever picked up the magazine know is 90 percent pregnancy and 10 percent newborn. In short, I hardly think it is worth it to lay down the 5 bucks for something that mostly doesn’t apply anymore.

sadpanda And of course there are parenting magazines, but again most of the content tends to be geared towards older kids. Do you know of any good newborn magazines, tailored for children under two? Otherwise, I suppose I shall just have to suffer on.